#318 Go on an Audition for a Show About BeautifulPeople.com

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A few days ago I applied to be on a show about my experience on BeautifulPeople.com. They called me again today and asked if I wanted to come in for an interview/audition. Today? That was pretty short notice. I considered pushing it off till next week. But since I happened to have no work today and putting scary things off is pretty much saying you’re never going to do it, I agreed.

They sent me an email with some details on what the audition would entail. They were going to interview me about various things but it would be on camera. I’ve never done anything on camera except by myself. Even though I didn’t really care too much one way or another if they were interested in me, it was still going to be pretty fucking scary to have a camera pointed at my face.

The email said that I should come prepared to talk about myself with energy. And that I should be “camera ready.” I don’t know what that means but I had on a t-shirt and jeans and was showered so I figured that was as camera ready as I’d ever be. Then I thought, wait a minute. Why shouldn’t I look the best that I could? So I combed my hair, shaved and put on a shirt and tie. I felt pretty confident about how I was looking.

I didn’t really have time to get too nervous. I had set everything up and was in the casting office in the matter of a few hours. I filled out an application and waited. It was at this point that I started to get pretty nervous. I don’t know why. Like I said I didn’t really care. But then I thought if I actually did get on this thing, it would be great for the blog. Should I try to act like someone else? Like a douche bag? I didn’t know if I could even if I wanted to. Should I tell them about the blog? I decided I would since it would be an interesting talking point. I also thought I’d mention how most people don’t think of Asian males as a attractive which I sort of agree with but it’s not really a concern to me anymore.

Then an assistant and interviewer, both women, called me in to a small room. There were lights setup and it was very hot. There was a camera and chair in the middle of the room.

First the interviewer took a couple of photos of me. I could barely smile because I was so nervous. My face was twitching and I managed only the most pathetic of smiles.

Then the assistant asked me to sit down and put a lav mic on me. I had never worn a lav mic before. She focused the camera and did a sound check. The interviewer sat down on a chair beside the camera. The assistant left and closed the door behind her.

“I’m just going to ask you some questions and I want you to have fun with it,” she said. I hate when people tell me to have fun with something. It makes whatever I’m supposed to have fun with sound like the must unfun thing possible.

She asked me about where I grew up, my social life, dating history and some other pretty generic stuff. I tried to be upbeat but my nervousness was holding me back. All the confidence I had before was gone. It didn’t help that the woman interviewing me didn’t really seem interested in what I was saying. I explained the whole thing about my blog being the impetus for me trying to get on the site and she didn’t even ask a follow up question about it.

She asked me about the site and why I wanted to be on it and why I think I didn’t get on. I just regurgitated what I said in my email.

When she asked me about dating horror stories, I told her the story about one girl who said she was a sky diver. I tried to joke around and asked her if she ever put dirty laundry or silverware into someone’s parachute as a joke, like something that might happen in a cartoon. The girl said, “My instructor died because his chute wasn’t properly packed.” Awkward. And when I finished telling that to the interviewer, she had a completely blank look on her face and didn’t say anything. Just like the girl on that date did. Double awkward.

In fact, the whole interview was like a horrible first date. And like a horrible first date, it was over in a flash. She thanked me for coming in and said they would be making decisions in a couple of weeks.

It’s strange, but I came in there feeling so confident about everything and when I left I felt like shit. But why? I didn’t really even want to be on the show. Yet the interviewer’s obvious disinterest in me made me feel like the most boring person in the world. But hang on. Why should I let her make me feel any different about myself? I think I’m a pretty interesting guy. Sure I’m a bit shy at first but I think I have interesting stuff to say. Actually, I think it’s strange that I threw out a lot of potentially stimulating things to talk about but she didn’t give a shit.

Then again, that’s probably wasn’t what she was looking for. She was probably looking for crazy reality show people. Not a shy, thoughtful nerd. That’s kind of disappointing but it should in no way impact how I feel about myself.

Now I’m over it. But it was scary how much the experience affected me negatively at first. It made me realize how strong you have to be to be able to deal with shit like this. I know now for sure I could never be an actor. Eventually, all that rejection must do a number on your self-confidence.

2 Comments to “#318 Go on an Audition for a Show About BeautifulPeople.com”

  1. angela 16 January 2012 at 5:15 pm #

    That interviewer sounds like a total bitch. She should at least be polite and feign interest!

    I also react negatively when people look through me when I’m telling them something about myself. Recently I was telling this tech bigwig about how I was writer and what I wrote, and he looked completely bored out of his mind while he had been energetic with other people. I felt crappy for a long time, till I told MB and he said, “He sounds like a prick.”

    • Greg 16 January 2012 at 5:43 pm #

      Haha yeah. I think it’s a good lesson in believing in yourself.