#316 Take a Pole Dancing Class

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Awhile back I signed up for a pole dancing class through Living Social Adventures. When I went to take the class (50 miles away) I was informed, albeit politely, that the classes were for women only. Even though it said no such thing on the site and I was allowed to sign up in the first place.

I sent an email to Living Social and explained that I had spent a lot of money with them. That they didn’t say anything about the classes being only for women and I drove 100 miles for nothing. I asked for a full refund for the class and $20 for gas. To Living Social’s credit, not only did they give me everything I asked for, they updated their site to say it was for women only AND created a special co-ed class, presumably, just for me.

So I was all set. But earlier this week I got an email that said now I could bring a friend along for free. This worried me immediately. Why were they sweetening the deal? I already wrote them back and thanked them for their offer. Unless nobody signed up for this class since it was coed. That meant I would be taking the class alone which of course, scared the shit out of me.

I immediately put up post on Facebook, asking if anybody wanted to go. Kate kindly offered to go with me but when I thought about it, I decided I should go alone because it would be scarier.

Leading up to the class, I was actually kind of dreading it. How would the women (if there were any) react to a guy in the class? And of course, what about this whole pole dancing thing? Was I basically going to have to act like a stripper? Like all sexy and such? I wasn’t sure I could do that. If I were the only person in the class I’d feel shitty, like they went through all trouble and it was only for me.

But it was time to go so I made the hour drive to Costa Mesa. When I got to S-Factor Studios, it looked like there was one girl signing in and four Living Social employees.

“Are you Greg?” one of the girls asked. I said I was. Then she said, “Well, that’s all of you!”

It was me and one other girl in this class, that was it. Great.

But it turned out, two of the Living Social girls were taking the class with us and there were two teachers. That meant six people in the class which wouldn’t make it feel so weird. Then they lead us into the dance room.

It was shoes off policy like a yoga studio because of the hardwood floors. But that’s where the similarities ended. The lights over head were set up like a dance club. Colored lights, spotlights etc. Then there were 5 stripper poles distributed through out the room. They stretched twenty feet up to the ceiling above.

The main teacher was Rachael who was a little firecracker. The other teacher was Laurel who seemed sweet and more subdued. We started out doing some warm up exercises on a yoga mat. The stretches were very different than yoga. A lot more fluid movement. Rolling of the spine and the hips. I had a little bit of a hard time following Rachael because it was so dark and there was music blasting over the speakers. I also felt kind of uncomfortable because the movements were… sensual.

After the warm up, we broke up into two teams to actually learn some pole dancing moves. I went with a Living Social girl and had Rachael as a teacher. The first move we learned was a basic spin around the pole called a firefly. You swing your leg around the pole and spin facing it, your feet sandwiching the pole.

At first it looked kind of complicated but once I tried it, I got it pretty easily.

The next move was kind of like a reverse spin because you’re looking over your opposite shoulder as you swing your leg around and hook the pole with your knee. When I got it on my first time, Rachael was ecstatic. “Are you an engineer?” she asked. Was this an Asian thing? “No,” I said. She explained that men see things spatially in a different way from women and she thought that’s why I was getting it so fast.

Then we learned a move where you spin around the pole with one hand high and one hand low and your legs bent, sort of straddling the pole. That was pretty easy for me as well I guess because I have more upper body strength than a regular girl.

Rachael went nuts when she saw me do it. “Do you do yoga?” she asked. I said I did and she said she could tell because I had a strong core. Then she asked me to try to do the move but this time with my legs straight. When I did that she told me to try and spin my way to the ground which I did. Rachael was doubled over laughing at this point, hopefully in a good way.

Next we all practiced the moves one after another a couple of times. When we spun around to the floor, we had to do this sexy crawl thing and stand up, butt sticking out. I tried to do it as best as I could but I shudder to imagine what it looked like to everyone else.

Then it was over. Two hours had flown by. Honestly, it was a LOT of fun. I wanted to learn more spinning around shit. The sexy, sensual part, I could’ve done with out. But spinning around the pole made me feel like a kid.

We got to have some champagne and then we all watched Laurel and Rachel do a little show for us. It was at this point that I felt really uncomfortable. This was the conversation that happened between my brain and my penis and it’s probably why they don’t want to have guys in the class:

PENIS: Wow! Hot women pole dancing! I’ve got to get up for this!

BRAIN: No! Down boy! This is not a strip club. This is not sexual.

PENIS: But… but the women… dancing… on a pole…

BRAIN: I know what it looks like penis but you’re just gonna have to behave yourself. I don’t want you to embarrass me in front of these nice women.

PENIS: This is really confusing.

It was pretty amazing all the crazy shit they were doing. That’s exactly what you DON’T see in a real strip club and that’s a shame. Because what they were doing with their clothes on was a lot sexier than a completely nude stripper half-heartedly strutting around a stage  bored out of her mind.

Rachael asked me how I liked the class. I told her I loved it. “You made history. You’re the first guy to take this class!” she said.

I shrugged like it was no big deal. Just another day, another scary thing for SYED.

5 Comments to “#316 Take a Pole Dancing Class”

  1. gracie 15 January 2012 at 1:00 pm #

    Greg, I was my boyfriend and I were cracking up! I love this one!

    • Greg 15 January 2012 at 5:32 pm #

      I ended up straining my neck a bit but my shoulder’s ok. Thanks for reading!

  2. wyn 15 January 2012 at 10:58 pm #

    i thought this post was hilarious from your technical recap to the “conversation” at the end–it was a complete story, your experience. i could imagine a report card grading you, “excellent technique and ability to grasp choreography. but he needs more soul, more HIP action.” haha

    • Greg 16 January 2012 at 1:07 pm #

      Haha yeah that would pretty much be my report card. Also, “Not very sexy.”

  3. […] of his adventures were a bit more physical like dancing in a flash mob, playing paintball and even signing up for a women’s pole dancing class. The class he took never had a guy participate, so they had to set up a special coed class for him […]